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Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) July 31, 2009

Posted by Dragan Antulov in Film Reviews.
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A Film Review

Copyright Dragan Antulov 2009

The author of this review lives in a country whose folk tend to say “morning is wiser than evening”. Those words should have been heard by authors of LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS, 2009 British horror comedy, allegedly conceived during one night in the pub.

Pub also happens to be the favourite place for two protagonists. Jimmy (played by Matthew Horne) has been dumped by his girlfriend Judy (played by Lucy Gaskell), while his best friend Fletch (played by James Corden) lost his job. Two of them, after many beers, decide to fill emptiness of their lives with some hiking in English countryside that would, hopefully, result in finding some female company. The path leads them to small village which visited by four attractive Swedish history students led by Lotte (played by MyAnna Buring). Two young men think that they will have a time of their lives when they happen to share cottage with Swedish girls, unaware that the village is been affected by centuries-old curse that turns their women into lesbian vampires.

Title alone suggest exploitation film that features sex and violence as the main attraction for mostly young male audience. Scriptwriters Paul Hupfield and Stewart Williams add humour to the mix, and LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS is supposed to be parody or, to be precise, homage to all ancient exploitation horror films that used to provide only opportunity for male audience to see some sort of sexual activity between women.

Director Phil Claydon, on the other hand, tries too hard in convincing audience about parodic nature of his film. Apparently thinking that title cards in comic book style aren’t enough, he starts with prologue that explains what kind of film viewers are about to see, thus providing too much glimpses of violence and nudity for intended viewer to  enjoy it afterwards. Impression somewhat improves with introduction of protagonists, played by successful television comedic team of Horne & Corden, whose on-screen chemistry keeps this film interesting about for about twenty minutes. When LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS turns from characters towards some sort of plot, everything starts to go downhill. The authors lose their inspiration – jokes are becoming less funny, characters (lesbian or not) turn to cliches and many scenes – including fights – become repetitive and annoying. That goes for coven of half-naked lesbian vampires led by Eva (played by Vera Filatova) who just stand in the woods, embrace and bite each other, thus providing audience with the concept of eternity. There are plenty of missed opportunities in this film, including the character of crazed vicar, played by terribly miscast Paul McGann. When the film ends, it becomes apparent that the only thing that made it watchable was its mercifully short length. The authors of LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS should have spent more mornings thinking of their film.

RATING: 3/10 (+)